The scariest thing about following your passion is putting yourself out there with full knowledge that you might fail, but that’s exactly the road I’m barreling down. Full speed ahead.
Day 4 brought some apprehension but also clarity about how I’d like to shape my online presence. I’ve realized that a lot of why I never pursued my interests is because it required exposing the products of my creative pursuits. But now I feel a clock ticking, and am acutely aware that life gives us just a few windows in which to initiate big and voluntary changes. Now is not the time to seek shelter and to quote Aloe Blacc:
And it appears that I’m on a course with a speed that doesn’t seem to want to abate. I knew this time of braving the sense of apprehension would have to come in order to finish off what was started when I began seeking answers to life’s biggest questions. I never got answers, but did put them to rest. .
The short version of the story goes like this:
A few years ago, I discovered a thing really very ordinary and yet it turned my world view inside out. What “I” discovered was that there is a tremendous difference between the existence of a sustained self which travels through the years as controller of the body and mind, and the idea that there is a controller.
In truth, there’s no such thing.
What that means is that what “I” am is not a singular and isolated process. As a point of fact, there’s no me, here that is separate from everything else, there. “We” do not live divided. So what’s left? I call it Life. Depending upon your conditioning, you may call it spirit, or God. What it’s called isn’t as important as the recognition that it’s not the ego or self which decides the course of a life. Instead, whatever happens is a synergy of all of the combined causes and conditions which have culminated in this moment. In other words, the machinations of the universe is what carries everything forward. Nothing is excluded. Not even the conceptual self.
Though it seems that “I” am in a transition which puts me in a “better” place, prior to this, I was perfectly placed in the role I had. Circumstances have simply come together in a way that life can be experienced very differently.
Change Is. And here it is. Ta Da.
People have all kinds of expectations, not only about how their lives will be, but how today will be, or how this moment will be. But reality is not an idea. It is what it is. Tada. – Ven. Jinmyo Renge osho-ajari
Tomorrow, I’ll end this week with Day 5’s observations, then take a little break and resume posts on Monday. Since I don’t anticipate that my weekend activities will be much different than they were before this little 30 day project, I’ll use the time to plan the next step of this metamorphosis.
Decluttering is the very thing called for if I plan on making sweeping changes.